Sunday, June 21, 2009

June14_AnnaPapaWe are not "an average family". My husband chose to put his career in tech industry on hold to be home full-time with his daughter. Why he and not me? I didn't want to be a stay-at-home mother at the time. I enjoyed my work and my coworkers more than he did. We had comparable incomes, so the loss would have been about the same in both cases. And I wasn't working 12-14 hours a day like he was during never-ending cycles of yet another product launch.

It was the best decision for our family. My husband admits that he would never have spent so much time and bonded with Anna so strongly, had he been working full time. He has been with her every day since the day she was born - changing, burping, comforting, playing. reading, entertaining, disciplining. They have their own special games that they play and special songs (not to mention special German language that he speaks to her most of the time).

My husband is not like an average stay-at-home mom too. He doesn't worry too much about Tot Schools, teaching her something in any formal way, art projects. He prefers to be out and about. From early days Anna had playdates, going on hikes, playground visits, going shopping as an important part of her daily routine. They still spend a lot of time by themselves - reading and free playing. He builds things for her and with her, and she really remembers every toy that he made himself. He can focus on her single-mindedly, while I try to multi-task way too often.

I am not jealous. My daughter is still very much a mama girl. I enjoy all the benefits of this close father-daughter relationship - knowing that my daughter is safe while I work, watching her learn physical skills that I might be too apprehensive to teach her, watching her develop interest in building things and trying to understand how things work. I just hope that one day my daughter will meet a man who will be just like her father. Than she will be a very lucky young woman indeed.

6 comments:

Autumn said...

Anna is a very lucky girl indeed...Lars is such a great father. Happy Father's Day!

Kristiana said...

I like hearing about set ups like this that are not typical. I think it's great and I love when dads can stay home and LOVE IT!
Happy Father's Day!

Kristi said...

How wonderful that your hubby stays at home with your daughter!

Katie said...

That's awesome. My husband stayed home with my son through his first year of life. They do have a special bond and Kevin has great memories of those times with Gavin.

Jenny said...

How awesome! My husband was laid off for 8 weeks when our daughter was about a year old. Even though it was a very stressful time, he cherishes that time that he had with us every day. She learned to walk during those few weeks and was talking so much!

Diana said...

Thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I have taken turns caring for our boys through different work situations. It is so wonderful to see your husband bonding with your children like that.